Here's a list of funnies to share:

Chocolate

Chocolate is a vegetable
Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
Bean = vegetable
Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets.
Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy.
So candy bars are a health food.

Chocolate-covered raisons, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

Diets

Remember --- “Stressed” spelled backward in “Desserts”.

Q: Why do you eat so fast?
A: I want to eat as much as possible before losing my appetite.

Q: What is a balanced diet?
A: The same amount of cookies in each hand.

Food

What do you call a retired vegetable?
- A has-bean

What fruit swings through the trees?
- Tarzan the grape-man

What happens when you step on grapes?
- They wine

What do you call a nervous pea?
- Jump-pea

What do you call an angry pea?
- Grump-pea

What do you call a Grandma banana?
- Nana!

What happens when you step on grapes?
- They wine!

What is rhubarb?
- Celery with high blood pressure!

How do you make an apple puff?
- Chase it around the kitchen!

What's yellow and has no brains?
Thick custard!

What do you call a very fast fungus?
A mush vroom!

What flies and wobbles?
A jellycopter!

Why did the man stare at the can of orange juice?
Because it said 'concentrate.'

What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?
Close the door, I'm dressing!

What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom?
He's a real fun guy (fungi).

And thanks for Katie Crozier, a fitness instructor from the UK for these gems…

What is round and green and goes up and down a lot?
A sprout in a lift

A man walks into a bar and as he's waiting to be served hears this noise,
“Oh you do look good today”. Looking around he cannot see who is saying this when he hears it again, “You've got lovely eyes you know”. At this point the man is really confused and asks the barman why he is hearing so many strange voices saying nice things to him. The barman says, “It's the nuts sir, they're complimentary!”

A mother complained to her doctor about her daughter's
strange eating habits.
"All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax.
What will happen to her, doctor?," the mother inquired.
"Eventually," said the doctor, "she will rise and shine!"

Go on, share them -- they're not that bad!

If you have any food funnies, we'd love to hear them!

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