Self-talk is what you say to yourself. Your self-talk is influenced by your beliefs. If you have negative beliefs about your abilities or appearance, your self-talk will likely be negative. For instance, if you believe you're uncoordinated, when you try to learn a new sport or dance you'll probably say, “I'm going to fall on my face and make a fool of myself.”
Negative self-talk like this makes it harder to learn something new because you become afraid of making a mistake and looking foolish. Needless to say, it also adds to your stress.
Distorted thinking about your appearance can lead to stressful self-talk. Such thinking distortions can act as mind traps and increase the stress you experience.
Here are some common mind traps and suggestions for changing them:
All or nothing thinking
Explanation: Seeing things in extremes: “If you make one mistake, you're a total failure.”
Remedy: Don't make black and white judgements. Think in terms of percentages, i.e. 40 percent on time and 60 percent late.
Overgeneralisations
Explanation: A single event is seen as a never-ending pattern of defeat: “Things will always be this way.”
Remedy: Quantify instead of using words like every, all, none, etc. Examine the evidence for your conclusions.
This bodyScoop Q&A taken from the Stress Management Guidebook, Harvard University Health Services / Good Health Management. Developed for the Accor Asia Pacific group of hotels and resorts by Harvard University Health Services.
